How to run a Pollyanna gift exchange
A Pollyanna is a gift exchange: everyone draws one name, keeps it secret, and buys one gift for that person. Most of the country calls it Secret Santa. Around Philadelphia and in parts of Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware, families call it a Pollyanna. Here's how to run one, and the rules most groups use.
The basic rules
- Everyone who is in puts their name in.
- Everyone draws one name. Nobody draws their own.
- You keep the name you drew a secret until the exchange.
- You buy one gift for that person, within a spending limit the group agrees on.
- Everyone exchanges gifts on the day. Some groups guess who had whom first; some just hand them over.
That's it. One good gift each, instead of everyone buying something small for everyone.
How to run one, step by step
- Pick the date and the spending limitAgree on both before anyone draws. A limit everyone can afford keeps it fun.
- Make the list of who's inAsk who wants to draw a name. Someone can come to the party without being in the exchange.
- Decide who can't draw whomMost groups keep couples and people in the same house from drawing each other, since they buy for each other anyway.
- Draw the namesFrom a hat if everyone is in one room, or online if they're not. Online, everyone sees only their own name.
- Share wish listsA few ideas from each person saves a lot of guessing, and a lot of returns.
- Plan the foodIf it's a party, sort out who brings what, so you don't end up with four desserts and no main.
- Exchange the giftsOn the day, with the whole group together.
Questions people ask
How much should we spend?
Whatever the group agrees on. What matters is that everyone can afford it and everyone knows the number before they shop.
What about the kids?
Many families leave young kids out of the draw and let everyone shop for them from their own wish lists. Older kids often join the draw like everyone else.
Does it work with an odd number of people?
Yes. Everyone gives one gift and gets one gift, whatever the number.
Can two people in the same house draw each other?
Only if you let them. Set who can't draw whom before the draw, and it won't happen.
Someone joined after we drew names. Now what?
In a hat, you redraw. Online, they can be added without anyone else's name changing.
Can someone come for the party but not the gifts?
Of course. They just don't put their name in.
Running it online with My Pollyanna
My Pollyanna is a free site built for exactly this, and it has run family gift exchanges since 2008.
- The organizer invites everyone by email, or adds the whole list at once from a photo or a spreadsheet.
- Each grown-up chooses whether they're in the gift exchange or just coming to the party.
- The organizer sets who can't draw whom, then opens the draw. Everyone sees only their own name.
- Everyone posts a wish list with links from any store. Kids get wish lists too, posted by a parent.
- Ask a question about a wish without the person knowing it's you.
- Sign up to bring a dish, by course, in the same place. See the potluck sign-up.